I wish that I could find time to accurately depict how I have been feeling as of late. The strangest things seem to happen to me all at once. I'm met with so many ups and downs, so many unexpected and often unexplainable things greet me with every day. I'd like to pretend that I'm used to it by now but with every passing day I find myself still reeling from the previous day's events.

I don't know why, I don't know why I edit my thoughts. Why I wish to deliver them more eloquently for the sake of impressing the static air that greets them. Why such hinderance, why such contempt for my own feelings. Perhaps I have been permanently effected by the thoughts of others. By the undeniable urge to satisfy I am losing myself. But for whom do I lust to satisfy? Is it the general or the specific? Why do we as humans long to have someone recognize us? Why can't we escape the self-deprecating lust for comparison? Why is she prettier, smarter and more graceful than I? Why must she get what she does not deserve. Why not I? Why not I?

Who am I to say what I deserve? Who am I to begin to say what others deserve. Objectivity for the subjective mind. Digression, digression, regression, progression, progress. Who is to say what anyone deserves but that person. I will never escape myself.